23 February 2010

Call the POL(E)ice or Superstition Ain't The Way

So you are walking down the street with your best friend on a beautiful day. Everything is going great until, right in front of you, a flagpole emerges in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. What do you do?

Well, you're a practical person, and seeing your friend heading for the right side of the pole, you veer slightly to the left without breaking stride. But as soon as you're in the clear, you hear a bloodcurdling scream. Turning, thinking that your friend has seen George Clooney or been stabbed, you see her frantically running back down the sidewalk to pass the pole on the same side that you did.

"NEVER split the pole!" she pants.

This superstition is everywhere, my friends. For me at least, it makes every walk with others a nerve-wracking and stressful experience. Only today I was walking with my friends Fiona Canterbury and Angelica Haynes, and I accidentally walked on the opposite side of a street sign, resulting in their frantic yelling, and a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I only get when I run out of clean socks.

Can you undo a split pole? Is the connection elastic enough that going back and around is enough? Or is it so taut that a simple passing of the pole is enough to result in negative consequences? And what ARE those negative consequences? Does it result in a single instance of bad luck? Or is it like breaking a mirror, in which an entire decade is pretty much screwed? Does the whole group get this bad luck? Or is it only one person who is at fault?

I would like these questions, and so many more, answered. Life is stressful enough as it is, without ambiguous restrictions on a leisurely stroll down the sidewalk.

Don't count your chickens before they hatch?


1 comment:

  1. when does Dale Alvarez make an appearance? I hear he's pretty goddamn funny.